My Seersucker is Off Limits.

By: Taft Matney

On Wednesday (April 24), Missouri State Senator Ryan McKenna (D-Jefferson County) unknowingly declared sartorial war on South Carolina.

Oh, yes. Yes. He did.

Concerned with the issues facing the Show Me State, Sen. McKenna took a swipe at the biggest issue of all and authored and submitted a bill amendment that would ban any person over the age of eight from wearing seersucker suits “because adults look ridiculous in seersucker suits.”

Really. He offered that amendment. It was an actual amendment. I’m not kidding. Take a look for yourself. (Download PDF Here. Download JPG Here.)

He withdrew his amendment to the higher education funding bill shortly thereafter telling The Riverfront Times, St. Louis’ alternative newsweekly, “It probably wasn’t germane to the bill,” and adding, “It was all in jest, anyway.”

Sorry, Senator. In South Carolina, banning seersucker is no joke.

A number of members of both chambers of the General Assembly from Senator Robert Ford to Representative Brian White are known for donning seersucker. The Statehouse lobby is filled with the breathable summer material on both women and men. Walk up and down most streets in the state during the warm and hot months, and seersucker will have more coverage than kudzu.

You can take my seersucker when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

I first learned about Sen. McKenna’s amendment from a CRESCENT reader in Pennsylvania who sent this note,

“YOU must make sure this does not grow legs in SC. The fate of the Southern gentleman depends on YOU! No pressure or anything.”

Don’t worry. I feel no pressure, but if Sen. McKenna keeps up his nonsense or tries to export his anti-seersucker propaganda to South Carolina, he’ll be the one to feel pressure. Specifically, he’ll feel the pressure of a pair of my white bucks kicking his rear end back to Jefferson County.

Seersucker will remain safe in the Palmetto State.